Funny One Piece
by Blue Rouge
Summary: Just Random things that I want to put that I think is funny. rated T for language Read and Review
1. Chapter 1

**Zoro and Zorro**

One day the whole crew stood in Merry relaxing and decided to start a conversation.

" Oi do you think Oda will make anybody fall for me?" asked Sanji suddenly.

Everybody stood in silence until Nami brooked it, " I'm afraid your going to die alone... sorry Sanji-kun."

Sanji let out a depressed sigh, " Ah well... at least I can still make out with people Robin want to make out?"

Robin didn't pay attention she was too busy reading her book.

Luffy looked at his straw- hat then smiled, "Hey do you think our creator Oda made us from movie characters?"

" HELL YES." said Zoro angrily while clenching his teeth.

" What are you so angry about Zoro?" asked Nami.

" Think about it who do I relate to?" asked Zoro.

Everybody shrugged with no answer.

Zoro looked annoyed, " Come on... do I have to sing the song for you?"

Robin stoped reading, " Your going to sing a song Mr. Swordsmen?"

No!

" But you said-"

No!

" Maybe you should sing it... you know so we can remember," said Sanji.

Now of course nobody really cared they just tought Zoro singing was a funny thought.

Zoro looked at his crew then sighed, " Fine just a bit though so you guys can remember..."

Out of the night when the full moon is bright  
Comes a horseman known as Zorro

He quickly stopped and looked at his crew, " Well now do you remember?"

Everybody shock their head, " No, you should continue so we can remember better."

Zoro gave an unenthusiastic look before he sang the next lyrics.

Zorro, Zorro, Zorro  
The fox of cunning and creed

Zorro, Zorro,Zorro

He makes the sign with the –

" WHATS SO FUNNY," Asked Zoro watching his crew laughing.

" I'm sorry Zoro thats so damn hilarious," said Ussop.

" What the song?" asked Zoro.

" No your voice when you sing," said Sanji exploding with laughter.

" This isn't me but... Mr. Swordsmen you suck," said Robin laughing out loud.

" If I could vote for the funniest shit your song would be it," said Luffy.

" No you guys don't get it... Zorro is a very cool swordsmen who fought horseback and hes a legend," said Zoro.

" He makes the sign with the Z," said Zoro.

" What?" asked Chopper looking at him confused, " sign of a Z?"

" Yeah he makes the sign of the Z like this," said Zoro reaching for Wadou.

SLASH!

He went over to Sanji and made a Z on his chest.

" What the Hell," said Nami confused.

Sanji stood motionless on the ground.

" Ah shit I forgot I sharpened Wadou earlier... so um...damn..." Said Zoro not knowing what do."

Zoro looked guilty for a while then he smiled, " Ah whose laughing now (Beep)


	2. Chapter 2

**THIS IS FROM THE DAVE CHAPPLE SHOW WHEN WAYNE BRADY WAS WITH HIM.**

Ussop waited down the street for Zoro to pick him up.

Zoro came in a drive by and pulled over for Ussop to get in.

Ussop smiled as he went in, " Hey Zoro, listen thanks for the ride man my car brooked down so I didn't have a ride."

" Don't mention it," said Zoro calmly accelerating a bit fast.

" Man this is how it should be like, us Anime people should stick together." said Ussop.

" Yeah I hear you," said Zoro running over a red light.

Ussop looked at his left, " Hey my job at the AUTO shop... you just passed it."

" I know," said Zoro calmly still as he drove the opposite direction.

" I just need to care of some business before I let you out," said Zoro stopping near a night club.

" Oh okay..." said Ussop.

Zoro looked at some thugs who were leaning near the wall of the club and Zoro laughed, " Ussop look their they are"

Zoro took out a gun and yelled at them, " Oi brace yourself fool".

The thugs who were laughing at each other looked at Zoro and cried out, " AH SHIT ITS RORONOA MAN!"

BOOM BOOM!

He shot down the thugs then started the car and they left.

" WHAT THE HELL ZORO... YOU KILLED THEM!"said Ussop alerted.

" Ah ha ah relax man," said Zoro laughing calmly.

" Zoro those were people you killed man you can't be doing this." said Ussop all panicked.

Zoro stopped the car and looked at Ussop, " Ussop your making me nervous your making me think your going to snitch...now... your not going to snitch... are you?"

" Of course not man we family we Nakama." said Ussop.

Zoro gave him a cold look then quickly smiled, " AH I'm sorry what was I thinking I'm sorry man."

Ussop didn't care now he wanted to get the hell out of here, " Zoro I need to go to the bank i don't have money."

" I'll get you some money," said Zoro with a sly smile as he stopped the car.

Ussop looked around and saw no banks, " Where is the ATM at?"

" Where at it," said Zoro honking the car with a pimp tone making a line of women come closely.

" Hey daddy," said one of them.

Zoro smiled at Ussop, " Now I want you to say hello, Ussop Hoes, Hoes Ussop."

" Hello bitches," said Ussop with a forced smile.

Then one by one they started giving Zoro money.

" Ah thank you sweetie, Rachele Thank you, good job Lauren... oh Lauren... what's wrong with this... what.. MR. Franklin's lonely here". Said Zoro looking at the only dollar bill he received from her.

" I'm sorry daddy."

" Your sorry... what do you mean your sorry... I ...is Roronoa Zoro gonna have to choke a bitch?"

Zoro looked at her then acted like he was going to get out, " You know what I think I am going to have to get out and choke you... I try not be violent... I really try not to be... but I guess I'm going to have to get out of this car and ch-"

" No Zoro come on man don't do it".said Ussop trying to make him stay in the car.

" ... Okay fine bitch thank Ussop".

" Thank you Ussop I like your nose".

" RUNBITCHRUNFORYOURLIFE!"

Zoro gave a suspicious look at Ussop.

Zoro started the car then gave Ussop the money, " Here man heres your money pay me back whenever."

Ussop looked at the money, " I don't know man... I ... this money aint clean man."

Zoro gave him a relaxed look, " Its okay man...just take it"

NO.

Take it.

No man.

Zoro stopped the car and looked at Ussop, " Ussop this aint an option man... if you don't take this money you and me have a problem."

Ussop took to money finally, " Okay fine...".

Suddenly a police siren was heard behind them.

" Oh no Zoro the cops."

Zoro looked at Ussop, " Okay let me do all the talking."

The police man came to the front seat and looked at Zoro who was smiling while Ussop was trying to word out help me.

" Hello can you please step out of the car sir." asked the cop.

Zoro got out and put his hands up, " Is there a problem officer ?"

" May I see your license," said the cop ignoring his question.

Zoro took out his license and gave it to him.

The cop looked at the license then looked at Zoro and smiled, " Oh my god your Roronoa Zoro."

Zoro smiled, " Guilty as charged."

" Oh my god your my favorite character next to Nico Robin she's hot." said the cop.

Zoro stopped smiling, " Wait... I'm not your favorite character...are you saying some bitch is better than me."

" No thats not what I meant." said the cop.

" And I agree too bitch." he then snapped the cops head and left for the car.

" ZORO YOU DID IT AGAIN MAN WHAYS WRONG WITH YOU HE'S A COP." said Ussop alerted.

Zoro smiled, " I'm sorry I'm sorry...actually I'm not sorry...ah ha ah I don't give a (Beep)"

Zoro gave an annoyed look, " They put me as the 3rd best straw hat member and crazy shit start happening."


	3. Chapter 3 My brother isn't home

**Hello there...this is another fic where crazy stuff happen enjoy.! Rated T for mild language...**

ON TO THE STORY

" Okay everyone here?" Asked Nami who was checking for everyone's presence.

They were about to leave the current island they were on and she wanted to cheek everyone was on the ship to part.

" I think marimo isn't here yet Nami-Swan." said Sanji looking around.

She sighed and leaned on Merry's head, " Damn Zoro...hurry up."

Sure enough he came back with something in his hands that was covered with a green blanket.

Whatever it was it must have been very fragile,because his pace was slow and careful.

Some of the crew cocked an eyebrow as Zoro came near with whatever it was he was carrying.

Zoro looked calm and walked towards the far side of the ship.

Luffy looked at him curiously, " Eh Zoro what do have there?"

Zoro looked down at what he was carrying, " Oh this...it's something."

Luffy's eyes went wide, " Oh coool something...what something is it?"

" It's something cool."

" Whoa can I see." he asked.

" Uh no...sorry Luf."

Luffy pointed at Zoro, "As your captain I order you to show me."

" You can't do that." said Zoro raising his eyebrows.

" Watch me...Sanji get it." he said.

Sanji shrugged and walked towards Zoro, " Oi marimo give it to me."

Zoro held it tightly and shook his head, " Hell no."

Nami pounded Sanji in the head, " Sanji I don't want fights stop it."

Sanji went into heart mode, " Aye Nami-Swan."

Luffy argued still with Zoro later in the afternoon who was now determined to find out what if was.

Zoro walked towards his room while Chopper, Ussop, and Luffy watched him outside.

" What do you think he's doing in there?" asked Luffy.

Ussop scratched his cheek, " I dunno, but he always goes in every hour."

Chopper looked at Luffy, " Do you think he brought a gift Luffy?"

"A gift?" replied Luffy.

" It's possible..." said Ussop, "But I think Zoro brought something alive...som...AHHHHHH."

Chooper and Luffy looked startled at Ussop, " W-what is it?"

" I know...I finally figured out what Zoro brought." said Ussop alert.

" WHAT!WHAT!WHAT DID HE BRING."

" He brought..."

YES YES! HE BROUGHT...

" A baby." said Ussop as Luffy and Chooper fell down at the answer.

" What that's stupid." Said Chooper.

"Yeah besides Zoro is gay." said Luffy.

"He is?" asked Chooper.

"Yeah I think he is...do you remember when Ussop made a fortune cookie..it says he was gay.

"Really?"

" Yeah it said.._ZORO IS GAY_...food never lies."assured Luffy.

Just then Zoro came out with his front side shirt all wet.

He left towards his usual spot and sleept.

Ussop whispered near his friends," See he did bring a baby...and I guess it threw up on him."

THE NEXT DAY...

Zoro had gone inside his room and Luffy and Ussop where leaning near the door.

" Didi you hear anything yet?" Asked Ussop.

" No nothing."he said.

Suddenly two pair of hands started to tickle both of the boys ribs.

They fell down laughing and looked at Robin who was sitting down on her usual chair.

" What are you two doing?" she asked putting her book that she was reading down.

" Zoro has a baby in his room," blurted our Luffy.

" Oh really?" said Robin smiling politely.

" You have to believe us...it's the truth." said Ussop.

" I'm sorry Mr. Long Nose but...you aren't exactly the kind who tell the truth."

" Words hurt Robin." he said gloomily.

" What did the others say about this." asked Robin resting her head on the recline chair.

" Nobody believed us..." admitted Luffy, " But I know it...he has a baby in there.

Robin smiled, " Im sorry Captain, but I don't think-

DAMMIT WHY WON'T YOU EAT ANYTHING!

Robin,Ussop,and Luffy looked at the door where the voice of Zoro was heard.

Robin sat up while Luffy and Ussop looked at each other with a smile.

There was a moment of silence until Zoro spoke again.

I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU IN THAT ISLAND!

Luffy and Ussop walked around Robin who was in her chair.

"Told you so...told you so...told you so..." they sang.

Robin closed her eyes relaxing, " I don't hear any baby cries."

Luffy's jaw dropped open, " w-w come on you know he has a baby in there and I'm going to-

OH GOD NO...YOUR NOT MOVING WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING DAMMIT!

DON'T YOU DIE ON ME JARREY DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!

Luffy, Ussop, ran inside Zoro's room be shocked.

Right in front of them was not a baby,but a small parrot in his hands.

" Come on say something," Asked Zoro.

" Errrg...your a dick...your a dick." said the parrot.

" Ah your alive," he said putting him on his cage.

" Don't scare me like that."he said sighing.

He turned to see Luffy and Ussop with their jaws open.

" What?"

" YOU BROUGHT A PARROT WITH YOU?"

" None of your business...none of your business errrg," said the parrot.

" COOL." said Luffy and Ussop walking towards the parrot.

Robin came in and looked at Luffy, "See captain...no baby."

Zoro raised his eyebrows, " W-what baby's? What are you talking about?"

The parrot looked at Robin and said something that amused everyone,but her.

" Errrg weird nose bitch...weird nose bitch."

" SO COOL."Replied Luffy.

Unfortunately that was the last words of Jarrey,because two mysterious arms grabbed the poor parrot's neck.

CLUTCH!

" NO JARREY!"said Zoro and Luffy looking at the dismantled birds neck.

Ussop pointed at Robin angrily, " Animal abuse...I saw animal abuse."

" I didn't to that." said Robin innocent walking towards her chair.

Zoro's lower lip trembled, " I never even taught it to call Nami wench."

" I didn't get to play with him." said Luffy.

Zoro looked at Luffy, " It's a she Luffy."

" A she?."

"Then why did you give it a boy's name?"asked Luffy.

" I dunno I thought I could make it seem like a guy." he said walking out of his room with Luffy.

"You like doing that...you like making things pretend not be something you like." he asked.

Zoro looked down.

" Zoro...are you gay?" asked Luffy.

...I don't know.

"Are you?"

" I don't know either."

" You know what pisses me off." said Zoro.

"What?"

"I hate the fact that the author of this story is not here right now and her sister is messing this up...I hope he doesn't' get angry when he comes back from his job to find out there is a story where we are making out with his name under author."

" He won't mind he's a stupid idiot...he's a guy you know...guys are stupid." said Luffy.

Zoro threw himself on Luffy, " Let us make out passionately front of everyone."

" Okay."

"Wait we need someone...OI shitty cook."


End file.
